stand in stillness 

Hi everyone, how is the giant world out there doing. You may have noticed I’ve retreated from the giant world a touch. We have pretty much moved to the lake for the summer. I’m trying to cloak our family in the sweetness of lake life. The sky is bigger, the lake goes from perfect glass to wave crashing ovens within a day of each other. Every day we get up and look to see what kind of lake we have today. Two to four days a week the children go to summer camp at the little park down the street. It’s incredible and the perfect hours of 10-3. Tennis pros, magicians, kayaks and artists. We’ll have to do an entire post on the amazingness of camp. Even sweet Benjamin goes to camp under the watchful eye of the nanny we hired to drive in and out from the city every day and be his watchful bubble as sigh, yes, we still have pins. I have no more idea when the pins come out as would you. We just have no way to tell if it’s healing or not. Time. Time will tell us. And then there is me. I really don’t know what to tell you which is why I’ve been so quite. I’m not happy, I’m not unhappy, I’m probably a little angry at the woman who ran a light and hit my son with a car changing our lives forever. The woman who didn’t bother to ask if he was okay. I sometimes wonder if she fixed her car right away or is the dent in the metal of her Volvo a reminder of what happened. Because that was my son, my family and our lives are forever not quite the same. I know I’m traumatized by the event. I think I’m a little traumatized by the world right now in general. Last week a woman wore a mask in the city walking up and down the street with a fake gun to her head. Our nanny missed it by only a couple minutes I just don’t know what’s happening this world. It’s all the little extras we’ve stopped doing. Why do I have to fight with insurance over a childcare and blender for my six year old son. Yes I want the 400$ blender that makes smoothies and ice cream and soup. All he’s eaten for 6 weeks in purée Kraft dinner, pudding and milkshakes. He looks grey. In the end they’ll pay 300$ and cover a nanny to take him to camp. But why was it so hard. Why didn’t you see a sweet six year old miracacle child survive this and say oh my gosh, what can we do to help? MPI insurance, I give you a solid “meh”!  My doctor said HEADLINE  ” MPI insurance declines active Canadian forces service couples disabled son smoothie maker and essential life preserving supervision”. They have said they’ll pay but I think it was because I lost it. He’s six, Its not like I’m asking for a capachino maker! ……breathe out…..and then we breathe deep and try to let that go. Stand still, breathe in, breathe out. There has been so much change, life is swirling around me, but if I just stand still in the middle of it maybe I can catch my breathe. Just for a moment….. 

Focus on the beautiful moments. Stand in stillness. Enjoy what you have. 

(Cousins in love) 

I think I’ll go for a bike ride 

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