don’t be blue baby 

Hello hello, 

I’m coming to you today from the most incredible little island spot.  Edit
I flew down yesterday with a girlfriend from College, we both were in need of a little time out so it could not have been more perfect. 

I’m hoping everyone had a wonderful week and didn’t freeze to death if you were part of that vicious cold snap up north. I am recovering from my case of the Mondays. It’s not a one day fix, but I will find my place and my rhythm in this new life. You may not all know that I used to be an Air Force pilot. I injured my neck and had surgery about 2 years ago. The surgery didn’t take as well as it should have, there was already too much damage. We can chat about the specifics another day if you’re interested. I  guess technically I am still a pilot but they refuse to let me fly with meds!  Sleep tight, they do check the pilots. Lol. 

So as I sit here on a beautiful island I have stuck in my head Blue Monday. Did you know that Blue Monday is an actual thing?!! I know! It’s considered to be the most depressing day of the year, what fun! It is determined each year by a highly scientific, found on the internet, formula. (I found it on the google therefor I know it to be truth.)My case of the Mondays is an ongoing adjustment to my new life and overall I’m doing well. I struggle with acceptance and how I feel physically but I feel I’m on the right path. But I worry about others. Depression/sadness/blues/ chronic pain are hard to see. What should chronic pain look like? 

Is it this?

I’m taking a lift from the handicap assist car in the Toronto Airport. It was too far to walk while carrying my purse. I wonder what people think when they see me, I don’t scream pain. 

Or this? 

I just left the hospital  Pain Clinic. I do muscle injections every 6 weeks. I used to have to sit nauseous with my head between my knees for at least an hour before I could drive. Now I’ve got the hang of it and I just have to get a cup of tea and mellow. I don’t think that story shows in my face. I wear bright red lipstick to cover it up, and I smile. I always smile. Smile smile smile. Right up until I pass out/black out I smile. This I know from fact. I am happy and I like to smile. I like to be joyful, being in pain doesn’t mean I’m a different person. I’m still me. You just have to look for my tells to see how I’m actually feeling. Red lipstick, generally a hint. 😉

Back to Blue Monday, I think it’s hard to ask for help, I have resources, so many resources but what if I didn’t? So ….I wondered if I might ask you a tiny favour…. maybe watch and see if you know someone who might need a gentle hug or a listening ear. You have no idea how much it means to someone to have a listening ear, a supportive word, a cup of tea. 

I hope that tomorrow is a gorgeous day for you, I’m going to do my best to post some fabulous pictures, I have an amazing week ahead and I cannot wait to share it with you. I hope I can bring you a little joy and inspiration. 

Love K

One thought on “don’t be blue baby 

  1. Rana says:

    I’m interested. And you look just like the face of chronic pain, any random passing person can NOT see it, anyone close can see it in your eyes or other ways you may have changed. I’ve had and have family members dealing with chronic pain and it has been a struggle – a struggle to live with it everyday, a struggle to convince medical practioners and family and friends that what they are feeling is real, a struggle to adjust to their new normal. Enjoy the blue you see out your (temporary) window.

Leave a Reply