Pop pop pop in!  

We have been reading diary of a Wimpy kid and today we were reading something about how it’s medically impossible for girls to fart, which I totally agree with, at least publicly that’s my official stance. It led into a full fledge conversation about toots. We’re pretty open in our house but I try to avoid fart conversations at all costs BUT I just recently learned through an undisclosed source that with men fart if it’s really windy and has force it actually moves their testicles and that’s totally disgusting. I wanted to fact check it’s through another source so I asked the boys and they laughed and laughed and laughed and they said it was true. Things I didn’t know because I’m a girl. Gross!

Tonight we’re having potluck dinner with our neighbour friends I’ll be honest I don’t feel great  I had a pretty huge “pain” it’s not fair meltdown today but I’ve put myself back together and I can get back in bed or I can sit quietly on the couch and hang out with some lovely friends.   She texted me and said that she was going to bring some rice and humans, I laughed really hard and Benny asked why so  I read it to him and then he laughed really hard and said “mmmm yummy humans.” Apparently AutoCorrect has issues with  “hummus” if you don’t get it just right.

I’m going to braid my hair and make it look pretty. I’m really into fairy braids at least that’s what we called them, the ones where it makes a little halo around your head and I’m experimenting with one single braid in the back but it’s kind of hard for me to reach. I’ve been teaching Husband to braid and he does a great job, he actually did my hair one day this week. He’s can be pretty sweet. 💕

I just wanted to pop in to say hi and tell you that I’m busy trying to get our house ready to sell and lots of appointments and such. What’s everyone doing this weekend, how are you? Curious question time: What’s your favourite new hairstyle? Are you having dinner with friends? Have you checked out Zazzle lately I’m totally into it and want to buy absolutely everything. I started because I was looking for business cards but got sidetracked into bags and necklaces and everything else amazing. What type of business cards do you think I should I get? What would be really pretty? And what should they say? 

See you soon 

Love K

Hello Springtime 

Hello spring time, hello Monday, hello loves, 

Happy Monday to you all, I hope you had a wonderful weekend. We had hockey finals, and let me tell you I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! No one ever told me I would be so excited to watch eight-year-olds play hockey. 

This morning I’m super proud I actually got the children to school on time, and I realized I don’t actually know which door I’m supposed to use for Lily. I’ve never been there early enough, whoops. I always use the one with the least icy path. It seems to be working. 

 I would have liked to have posted earlier today but we came home my ride along, aka Henry the puppy, made a break for it. I spent about 30 minutes searching around the neighborhood in my pjs.  It wouldn’t be so bad except I realized when you look out in the back lane I’m just a crazy lady pacing around with a mitt-full of cheese shouting ‘don’t be such a dick hole’. In other news, I met some new neighbours today! Hahaha!  The lady who caught him was wearing PJs too so I felt pretty good.

This weekend on the home front lots of little projects getting finished up. I think the hardest is the purging of things we don’t need…it’s just so much baggage, why do we have this? I may have mentioned before I heard the idea of purging 40 bags in 40 days, I think I’ve exceeded it already. The kids are taking it really well but I get a lot of questions like….can I bring this to Toronto? Of course you can bring your favourite toys, don’t worry my babies. 
Hey so I was wondering how are you guys doing with style? Fashion and such? I’ve always felt like style isn’t really my thing. I have a couple key pieces that I like to wear, tall brown boots in the winter, short black dress, big sunglasses in the summer. But I haven’t really felt like I embrace “style”. I never had a huge reason to, they gave me a uniform and that’s what I wore most of the time. Not putting on the green jumpsuit every day has been a big transition. Over time the uniform became such a part of  my sense of identity. Without putting it on every day I’ve had to start thinking about what I’m wearing and what it says about me. Am I mom jeans and white t shirts? Or tights and a long frumpy sweaters? I admit for a long time I wore pj’s most days. I had a rough year after surgery. One of the great parts about winter is you can throw on your long puffy coat and no one needs to know. 

This spring I’ve started to think about what I’m wearing. I’m not feeling super comfortable with my body right now. After surgery I lost 30 pounds, annnnnd then I gained 40 pounds! Yay me! Part of it is medication, part exercise, part tired, pain, lifestyle, sadness, a whole fun mix. But this is not my forever. I look in the mirror and sometimes I see the jiggly woman. But I also see so many beautiful things. I like my shape, I wish it were smaller but it is what it is, until I change it.I’m working on it and I’ll get there but just because I’m not comfortable with this extra weight it doesn’t mean I have to dress like it. There was this day last month when I was trying on sweaters, one said hi I’m sweet, I’m Kate, BUT there was another, with flowers and beautiful lace trim, it said hello there I’m beautiful, I’m confident, I’m sweet and sexy, and I loved it. Deffiitely out of my comfort zone. But why can’t I be sexy, beautiful, lacey. Dress the body you have, not the body you want. 

 I’m loving giving myself a little more freedom.  I may own the mom jeans, but it doesn’t have to be the only thing I own. I found some amazing clothes in St Martin that I’m excited to share with you once it gets a little warmer.  Lily my fashionista is following closely in my footsteps and branching out from the one pink dress she wore for 2 months. Outfit chosen completely by her at Joe Fresh. I was proud of here for embracing change . Even though I somehow didn’t realize the plan was to wear them matchy matchy, oh well she’s delighted! 


How about you guys? Any go to tips and tricks? What’s your style? Do you have any favourite things that just make you feel BAM!!?

Have a glorious week, if you’re on instagram let’s be friends ❤️ sending you all kisses, I feel like you could use one 

Love K

    

 projects projects 

Hello lovelies! How is your week? If you have kids and you’re anything like me all you can think about is the upcoming spring break. If you’ve already had or are in it oh sweet heavens I am jealous of you! We are doing super well but my mama meter is really low and needs a recharge. Yesterday I spent 2 hours at the eye doctor. 2 hours. 2 hours with unfed children and only a broken pack of crackers in my purse for sustenance. I had husband order pizza to meet us at home and I dropped our no electronics rule faster than a hot taco and passed out fully dressed at 630pm with the kids all laying on me watching Richie Rich. I need a vacation stat! lol

Let’s talk house. The house is concurrently coming apart and coming together. Some projects have to get messier to get better! The upstairs bathroom is finished, I owe you pictures! I know, I know. I’ll try to get to them today, my afternoons suddenly became busy with another little project and it’s slowed down my photo editing. Here’s a little teaser I have from Instagram. 

How gorgeous is this runner? Home Sense, as well as the art work. I’m so pleased how it’s come together, and on a budget!

Other little projects are coming along nicely. It did so happen that I was quite sidetracked by that fireplace and husband was dispatched to make it happen.  I have to tell you. I am Loving it, Loving with a capital L! The last 2 mornings I have woken up with the boys laying on the carpet reading by the fire. It feels so cozy and sweet. It also gives me reassurance on the upcoming move as we are planing to downsize, hard! We’re a close family, the boys share a room, their choice. I asked if they would like separate rooms in the new place but they politely declined.  Their bedrooms are really just for sleeping, they’d rather be hanging out all together. We have A Lot of unused space, we don’t need it. 

Other excitement is I somehow managed to squeeze in getting my hair done and am feeling Fabulous!!!

Thank you Samantha  for being so wonderful! I’m completely into braids and loving this new one I learned yesterday. Before you ask the  wrap is Mad About Style on Academy, I absolutely adore them. Between the hair and the clothes I might just get off the couch today, lol!

Okay let’s get into the Toronto home update.

We are planning to move to Toronto for one year only. Knowing you’re going somewhere for just a year affords you freedom to branch out and try something new. Plans can change but I am looking to downsize in a huge way. We are looking forward to go full city living, I’m thinking condo, single floor, so no more stairs for my poor little neck. I’m thinking open concept, small space. I’d like white, open concept main area, floor to ceiling windows, 3 bedrooms or as I’m learning the lingo, a 2+, if it has a den we can make Lily a tiny little bedroom. She’s just a tiny little leprechaun, and can fit just about anywhere. A tiny little dog crate would legitimately probably make her the happiest but I’m not sure the legalities of that, even when the small human asks you to do it.   I would love a 4 bed but it seems to be the golden unicorn of Toronto real estate. I’ll keep you posted, or better yet if you something delightful along the subway line or in the Young and Eglington area let me know! Like I’ve said before I am super excited to share this journey with you. 

That’s all I’ve got for you today, if I’m quick I can squeeze in a nap before three separate parent teacher interviews. Wish me luck, or better yet bring a little flask in your purse/murse and meet me in the library. I’ll be the one with the cane in nonfiction. 
I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day. 

Love Kate

Hello Reno

Hello renovations. It seems no matter how many times we move we end up with “almost finished projects” that kind of just drift away and are forgotten about. There is nothing like the thought of an upcoming move to get us into gear! We started out our ‘nice little Saturday’ with a lunch date, husband was true to his word and took the whole fam Home Depot. He needed his own cart but I think he held on pretty well. Especially when I got sidetracked by this electric fireplace on sale that I think would be completely divine in my bedroom! Successful with our lighting purchases, I let him off the hook and we delivered the men folk home. I continued on with my ever faithful assistant, Princesss Lily. 

Princesss Lily and I did such an amazing job. We hit up my favourite flooring supplier The Floor Show. Lily disappointedly notes that there is in fact, NOT, an actual show being performed here. Poor lady. On our voyage we rediscovered this marble tile which I am in love with. I have this earmarked for my ‘forever home’. 

You should see it in person it’s incredible. 

Back to the point of the visit, laundry room. We are finally finishing the washing machine pedestal and replacing the flooring. It’s a laundry room so I wanted to be conservative with my price point but I also wanted something durable and laundry appropriate in style and in function. Our flooring specialist Aleah, was so amazing and we picked this beautiful gem! I know it’s going to be fabulous with the finished laundry pedestal and blue appliances. Don’t mind the dirt, it’s important to have a well tested sample. 

Really I should have ordered this floor last year so we could enjoy looking at it but oops, not what happened, lol. Aleah was able to pull some strings and a little magic and we will have floor in no time.  PHEW!!! Thanks A for saving me and my procrastination. 

Lastly we hit up our favs Home Sense and Marshalls. This was a big day for me by the way. I fell asleep the second I sat on the couch and missed dinner, oh dear! But Lily and I did find some amazing treasures for the second floor bathroom which I can honest to goodness not wait to show you.  I’ll try my best to do a little photo shoot today. Well I guess this decides it, we are starting our home tour with Bathrooms!! Seems appropriate for my family. Just to note: last night I asked the whole family to join me in the lou while I was cleaning and explained “in the bowl”  and “not in the bowl”. We examined all the various parts and decided whether that part was “in the bowl” or “not in the bowl” (squinty eye). 

And….

Since you’re here….what do you think of a bedroom fireplace? I feel quite smitten with the idea.

Love K

Good morning Saturday!!!

Hi, Editgood morning everyone! 🙌🏻 So you know every Saturday I lounge in bed with the small humans, it’s my favourite time of the week. I love the view, I love the cozy, the small humans. I love the painting Shelley loaned us it’s so beautiful and perfect in this room, it brightens my heart. I don’t think I’ll be able to give it back. So if you were hoping to buy it I’m sorry to tell you it’s probably sold! This morning husband has taken the small humans to watch Jack play hockey. I was supposed to go but apparently I wasn’t done sleeping yet.  So now I’m lounging with you in bed (wink wink) and Henry of course!! I was texting Husband a list of things to pick up at Home Depot and then I thought oh my goodness let’s all go to Home Depot!!!!! Which is totally not Husband’s favourite thing to do. I can tell he’s feeling bad for me because he said yes. Hurray!!!! 

So I am totally done moping, I feel way better after blurting it all out I hope. I really hope I didn’t make you sad.( especially because that’s all just the tip of the iceberg lol). And today I feel happy and pretty joyful. I’m going to go look for a light for my bathroom, a rug and tufted bench, again for my bathroom (get excited, we’re headed down glam alley!!) and I don’t want anyone to get too overly excited or nervous BUT I am finally considering replacing the dining room light to make the dining room a little bit more BAM!!! 

Thoughts? 

Low times 

Hi everyone, I know I’m a slack entertainer as of late, I’m sorry for that. But I’m sad. I’m not sorry I’m sad, I’m not sorry I’m a poor entertainer, but I’m sorry I didn’t share why, why I felt I couldn’t share. Honestly who wants to read a story with only the good parts? That’s ridiculous and life isn’t like that. I’m working hard on learning how to share without fear. I worry I overshare, but I also worry as a community that we undershare. That people don’t have the comfort of a place to disclose their deepest fears. I think we can can have so much fun here, but we can also be honest. We can support eachother, make connections and friends. So here goes….

I’m a super happy person but we have been through a lot and it’s just sort of building up and weighing me down. How much do I deserve? Jack the eldest has been coming home from school every day, for a couple of weeks now. He makes it until about 1 o’clock and then he just can’t be there anymore, his stomach hurts, his head hurts and he calls me to ask “is it’s a good time” and could he please come home. By dinner time he feels better. I’ve asked him every question you could imagine.  We have a doctors appointment next week for a full work up, planning eye and hearing test, BUT today…. I was at a birthday lunch when he called, and I skipped out to pick him up. We were in the school hallway and during my questions of what hurt he said “my heart hurts” and there was a chair they’re because I would’ve sat on the floor.* I immediately squished his face and looked in his eyes, pulled his lips  out to check the colour and then ripped his snow clothes off and pinched his fingernails and poked his skin to check the colour. 

I know we signed up for this but I just feel like I’m getting hammered. I’ve been to so many specialist appointments, poor sweet Benjamin needs dental surgery where he’ll be admitted to hospital and put fully to sleep due to PTSD from the accident. We have also started speach therapy, so more appointments. There was a bit of a delay before but the accident changed the shape of, well everything, so now we are doing weekly speach therapy.  

I just wonder when enough is enough? How many dues does one family pay?  

This has all been crummy and I have been hesitant to share. I worry if I share too much maybe I’ll overload you and you won’t come back. I want to tell the story of Benjamin’s accident so you know but I don’t think you’d like it. I think you’d be so sad and that’s not what I want, I want you to feel happy. I want you to feel joyful and empowered, and entertained! But we also need  an honest place where you can share anything. 

Today at the luncheon I was so fortunate to have some people share with me. They had read the blog and knew I would understand and I think saw that I needed someone else to share and support me. To me that was so special and amazing. I appreciated so much that someone would feel comfortable enough with me and I stopped feeling quite so sorry for myself and inspired. 

Okay so hello again! Let’s get this show on the road again!! The house is going up for sale. Now seriously,  which rooms shall we tour first?!!! 

xoxo ❤K 

Blurt

OK, so do you guys want to hear my blurt of the day? I had to hire a sitter to come and take the smalls to school, so I could take middle child to the doctor.  He needs to have a pre-op report done for the special dental surgery that he needs due to the PTSD he has from the car accident where he got hit by the Volvo that ran the light. Ironically, we own a Volvo; I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned that. I almost had to sell it. Now I just can’t think about it too hard, or I get that heaviness in my chest (mostly on the right side, because the left side of my body has less feeling). So we’re going to the doctor with the largest small human in tow because he keeps coming home from school early with a headache, (is it normal for a kid to have headaches and this low-grade fever for weeks on end?) and every time anything happens I immediately worry about his heart.  If you didn’t know the largest small human had open-heart surgery when he was a baby. They fixed it and it’s wonderful……except….we have to go in and have his heart checked every year to see if all the pieces are growing at the same rate, otherwise we’d have to have another heart surgery. It’s 50/50, our doctor once said, ‘I know you want me to give you an answer either way just yes or no, so you don’t have to live in the constant worry’, but he said ‘I can’t, it’s just how things go’. So basically every year in the background I live in fear of that. So when my son comes home with headaches all the time, and not feeling well it bumps up my worry level.  At this point I’m just like come on! I have had enough! I’ve done enough; our family has paid our dues and I just want something to be easy. OK, so deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths.

People ask me how do you do it? One answer is that time just keeps going and you don’t get a choice. The other answer is that I work really hard at it. I work hard to breathe deeply. I work hard not to be overwhelmed. I work hard just to do one piece at a time, and just let it be. I work hard to accept and see every moment that is joyful. I let things go — so many things.

me explaining to husband cleaning the toilet means cleaning the WHOLE thing, and to be honest why should I clean it, anatomically I don’t think this could have been me!

 I am not the perfect mother. I’ve stopped baking; I’m so tired.  I bought muffins at Costco (it felt dirty like I was cheaping out on the motherhood thing) and you know what?! They’re effing delicious. My kids will never eat my homemade shoved-in-zucchini muffins again; I’m screwed. I pay someone to pick up my kids from school when I’m too tired and can’t do it. I don’t make school lunches (minus heating up Alpha Getty in the morning for Lily); Husband does it. Husband folds laundry because it hurts my arm to do it. I wash and dry but folding is out. We decided at some point that grocery shopping was not worth my energy. It’s all about conservation of energy, choosing where you put it. My house is often messy and I don’t really care. I mean I do, gosh I care SOOO much, but I have to let it go. Breathe in, breathe out, and then go and play hide-and-go-seek, because that’s what my children will remember and that’s what I’ll remember. Last night Lily and I hid under the bed, so when Adam came downstairs we could grab his ankles. He found Lily but not me, but then she ratted me out, (booooo!) I was going to scare the shit out of him when he leaned in to kiss her good night. So I’d say I’m not your typical mom, but I’m having a lot of fun. That’s how I’m doing it… I think?

ON a happy note, we are selling the home which means finishing all our projects and HOME TOUR!!! Which room(s) would you like to see first?

xoxo love K